Why Apple? Why Must You Ruin My Life?

Apple is so great with fixing your computer when it is something they have done wrong. Any good companies would do that for you, if they are smart and want to keep your business. In my previous blog, Men... Why are they here?
I talked about Michael's computer breaking and not working. I was kind of sad for him but happy in the long run. Well, he sent the computer to Apple because they would fix it because of the warranty. Deep down inside, I was hoping that since he opened it up to fix it himself that they would not fix it. Most companys do that too. You have all seen the signs, IF SEAL IS BROKEN, WE WILL NOT REPAIR. Well, not Apple.

Today, Michael got his computer back. They fixed it and even fixed the sound that he broke when he tried to fix it himself. Dang Apple. Could you not have left my life alone? It is his happiest day but my saddest. Just kidding, I am glad that he got the computer back and it is working. I love to see him when he is happy. I guess we are even now since he bought me my phone and he has his computer back.

Anyways this will be the last blog until Sunday night. Ashton and I are going to camp. Yes that is right. Journey Church is having Family Camp. We leave tomorrow. Michael can't go because he will have to work. I am sure that I won't have any fun and be depressed because he is not there. I don't know how I will be able to swim, canoe, ride bikes, play games, and eat without him. It will be rough but I am a big girl and will do it. After all my little man will be there to take care of me.

Michael is Off The Hook

I was asked to write this blog by my loving husband. Everyone gets their dream car, well I got my dream phone. Yesterday, Michael bought me my pink razr phone. I love it.

Also, while writing this blog I was told to say how many times I have gotten a phone and he hasn't. Well the truth is I am rough on phones. My last one the screen was broke and I couldn't see anything on it. It made texting hard.

This is about it. I just wanted to let everyone know about my phone and how wonderful my husband is.

Clay Crosse and Sunday's Blog

I am so amazed at seeing God working in Monticello. I never realized that me analyzing my life and putting it out there for all to read could make a difference. I guess that was God's purpose.

For about 10 years, I have been drawn to the music of Clay Crosse. Listening to his music has brought me through many difficult times. God had placed his music in my life so long ago. I never realized why I have been drawn to his music but I have. I just wish I could meet this guy. Every time he comes to the area something comes up and I never get to go.

The very first song I heard from he was "He Walked A Mile." This song has touched me and still does. Below are the lyrics to the song. Just reading it does something to me.

Before the threads of time began
was pre-ordained a mighty plan
that is should walk with him alone
the chords of trust unbroken
but the fate foresaw my wanderin' eye
that non could yet restrain
to violate the friendship I
would cause so much pain

And every time I close my eyes
I see the nail,
I hear the cries
He did not keep Himself away
He was not stranger to my pain
He walked a mile in my shoes

He walked a mile
feet so dusty cracked with heat
but carried on by love's heartbeat
a man of sorrows filled with grief
Forgiveness was His anthem
No feeble blow from tongue or pen
could ever sway by love for him
Across the echoed hills He trod
and reached into my world

And every time I close my eyes
I see the nail,
I hear the cries
He did not keep Himself away
He was not stranger to my pain
He walked a mile in my shoes

To me this song basically placed a picture into my head of what Jesus went through. I know I could never imagine the pain he went through for me. If anyone would go through that for people that have not even met, isn't it worth the chance to get to know him. Jesus truly cares for us and is always willing to take us back.

Anyone who has not heard Clay Crosse should. He is truly a remarkable guy. I feel kind of attached to him because his family went through some of the same things that my family has. Clay was addicted to pornography and finally confessed to his wife. Guess what God has brought Clay and his family to glory and using them to help others, like me. You ought to read his book about his struggles with pornography. He shows his view and his wife. It help Michael and I during our time. We could both picture what each other were thinking. It saved my marriage.


Check out his site.

http://www.claycrosse.com/

You can purchase his music and book at this site if you like.

Yesterday's Blog

You never realize how important something you say really is.
People are acting like I am some kind of hero for writing my blog. I sort of feel like a celebrity. I am glad that my message has touched some lives.

The only reason why I wrote yesterday's blog was because I hate (sorry can't stand) people that hide behind their past. It just simply drives me nuts. If those people drive me nuts why should I be that person. Plus God has been putting that on my shoulders for some time (years). I just now found the place and courage to tell. I feel like I have friends who care and won't ridicule. I am sure there are some but that's life.

I found out today after hanging out with Susan that they prayed for us before they knew us. They just happened to see us in the parking lot and felt the urge to pray for us. I found that kind of miraculous, because of the book Jeff has us reading. Chapters 3 or 4 mention people being called to pray for people they have never met. I guess God has been working in my life for some time. He actually had people praying for us that we didn't know or even met.

I feel like I am finally have a social class or group of buds that I fit into. I don't feel like I have to be someone I am not. It is great.

Well, enough blogging for now. Once I start writing it is hard to stop.

Strategic Planning

Strategic planning. Another one of Jeff's many Sunday assignments. We are made to plan our life out and put it in writing. I am going to do mine on here for the soul purpose of being held accountable to my plans.

God has plans for us. So often we don't won't these plans or don't want to admit that we know what they are. If it is going to happen, then yes it will be God's will. If it doesn't happen then so be it. It was not meant to be or it is not the right timing. Well, Jeff asked us to plan our life out for the next month, 6 months, 1 year, and even 3 years. I like a month will be really easy, but 3 years. Now as I think about it, all of it is hard. How do I know what is God's will? I have struggled with this for some time.

For those of you who don't know, here is a brief history of my life. I think I need to analyze this to figure out my future plans and determine if it is God's will.

May 1997
Graduated from Eudora High School

1997-1998
Moved to Jonesboro to attend Arkansas State
I hated it and but didn't want to go home. I had no social life and stayed in more dorm room all day. Finally, attended the Wesley Foundation on campus, and found my place in life. Or so I thought. God always throws in those curve balls, of course this could be because I didn't listen to him talking.

March 1998
My grandfather died. I completely turned against God. I did not want anything to do with him. After all, he killed my grandfather. This month was also a turning point in my choosing of a career path. I was going to school to become a news anchor for a TV station. The same day my grandfather died, was the same day as the Jonesboro shooting. I hated the media from that point. I was watching the local news that night and they went up to a girl and asked "Well, how do you feel after seeing your best friend shot and killed?" I was thinking well how do you think she felt. I just couldn't believe they went up to a 6th grader and asked them that within minutes after the shooting. It was crazy. I decided to go into social work. I didn't want to be a teacher because my parents were both teachers. I just was not going to do that.

1998-1999
This year, I had my first love. I didn't date in high school (being the only white). I thought this was the one. We met cruising down the strip in Jonesboro. I was excited this was the first guy that paid attention to me and cared for me for more than a friend. Being a tom boy it was hard to get guys to see you for a girl. That lasted about 6 or 7 months. I look back now and am glad that he was not the one. We are still friends but I would be living a lifestyle that I did not care for (drinking alcohol).

November 1999
This is where Michael comes in the picture. Or atleast this is what he says. He said he wanted me from day one. The problem is that I really don't remember him. I am glad he kept coming back for rejection (I was dating at the time). By January we began dating. I wasn't sure if I like him or not. I just wanted to keep him around because he loved me. Sad but true. I used him for my own satisfaction.

Summer 2000
I dumped Michael. See my first love came back into the picture. He was more adventurous and actually watch horror films or psychological thrillers (which I love and Michael just won't watch them). The fact is we were too much alike.

August 2000
I finally called it quits with the first love and luckily Michael wanted to take me back. I don't know why but he did. The guy was crazy. Again, I was not sure if I really like him or not. I was still using him for a crutch until someone new came along (which never happened). The fact is that I grew to love him and cherish everything he did. I was not seeing God's will in my life. I was still trying to reach for things that was not meant to be.

2001
My Mom was diagnosed with lung cancer. Again struggling on being a borderline Christian, I began to resent God again. My life was getting back on track, and boom he puts a glitch in my life. I resented him. I moved back home to Eudora and began to attend UAM. I wanted to be with my Mom as much as possible.

February 2002
The day came and my Mom died. This was trully the hardest day of my life. I did not know what to do. I was mad. How can a 22 year old make it with out her Mom? I literally shut myself up in my dorm room and was the depressed little girl. I had nothing and didn't want nothing. I am glad that I was still dating Michael, he was the only thing that kept me going. I was trying to plan a wedding for June. I really wanted my Mom to be there.

June 2002
Michael and I married. One of the happiest days of my life. It put a little sunshine into my dark gloomy world.

November 2003
Ashton was born. Again memories of Mom came back. All I ever wanted her to do was be there in the delivery room. This was suppose to be the happiest day of my life but yet I was mad at God because Mom was not there to help.

Spring 2005
I decided to move to ASU for Michael to get a degree he wanted and I could do my internship there. Michael completed one semester there but GPA was still to low to get financial aid. So we moved in with my Dad in Arkansas City with the intentions to move into Family housing at UAM as soon as possible.

Memorial Day 2005
Dad had been sick for a long time. The doctors kept saying indigestion. I finally convinced Dad that the doctor's office was closed and we would go the emergency room but not at McGehee. So we traveled to Pine Bluff. They admitted Dad. I was by my Dad's side this whole time. Well, the doctors discovered he had some kind of mass on his pancreas. I hated it because everyone said oh he has cancer...even my Dad was saying that. I am such the optimist and said it could be anything. The next day, they did exploratory surgery. It was too late. It was cancer and there was nothing they could do. It was too far spread. My first instincts were to be mad at the world. I finally was getting to know my Dad. My mom and Dad were divorced when I was little. I knew my Dad but just not that much. I was finally realizing who I was (which is exactly like him).

September 2005
Hospice began to take care of Dad. I am trying to finish up my internship but all I wanted to do was be with my Dad. Thank God for Michael. He took care of Dad and Ashton while I finished school

October 7, 2005
I watched my Dad take his last breath.
October 2005--we moved into family housing. We got reacquainted with Phillip and then met Rose and started going to their small groups. This is the only thing that kept me sane. In fact we were getting to know lots of friends.

March 2006
My world came to a crumbling halt. My marriage was about to end. The guy I feel in love with was abducted my aliens or something. I will never forget the phone call that we need to talk. My heart tore into a million little pieces. My husband as just commited adultry. (I hope he doesn't get mad for me saying this. I really love him and would not want to hurt him). At first, I was mad. But like the Footprints poem, God picked me up and carried me through. There was only one set of footprints and it was his. I was not mad, I was actually calm and told him that we would work through this. I knew that he loved me, and was trully sorry. I could see it in his eyes. Michael can't lie because I know it so it was the truth. After all, what guy with stick by yourself and take care of your dying father. It was a stressful time and he could have walked out at any time. He loves me! (I know it was God, my personality would not have done that...I probably would have killed him). Thanks to Jeff, Michael began to see a new life. He had changed. In fact, I have spoken to the girl and told her that I forgive her. In fact, we talk to this day. (God is trully amazing!!!) My family got back in church and have been there ever since. Journey church has been our saving ground. Our marriage may not have been saved with out God and the Journey Church.

=============================================================
That was a brief history of me. Thanks for sitting and reading through it. Now here is my strategic plan. That is if God will allow.

3 months
Teaching Kindergarten at Drew Central. My faith will continue to grow in Jesus. Michael and I will begin to pray every night. We don't do this at all. I would also like to read the Bible with him. I hope to find a book of Bible stories that I could read to Ashton. If anyone knows of any books please let me know. I really want Ashton to grow up and know Bible stories. I don't know very many but Michael knows them all just about.

6 months
Christmas Time will be here. I want to not forget the reason for the season. Michael and I will be well into our plan of getting to know each other better (in the Lord). Ashton will realize that Christmas is not just about presents (I hope anyways).

1 year
I plan to still be teaching and Michael will have a job in computers somewhere. I will have my Christian faith down to a tee has much as possible. I won't be scared to ask questions because I am embarrased because I don't know much about the Bible.

3 years
Own a house (this is my main goal...but I am sure God will provide his timing). By this point, I want to begin witnessing to others. Maybe not just by talking but by my actions. Actions speak louder than words. I also plan to have Ashton a little brother or sister.

I guess my plans are more geared toward me and not others. I really want to help others and I am sure that will happen all along the way. My main plan is to get my life together for the sake of my family. I must first get my faith firm.

God is awesome! Letting him in on your life, really makes life easier and less stressful. It is amazing what a little Jesus in your life can do.

I LOVE TO SHOP!!!

Today was quite interesting. I went and did something I
don't normally do. I went to Pine Bluff and went shopping at the mall. I love it. It was Ashton, me, and Dr. Maxedon from UAM. Ashton calls her Nana. She acts just like his grandmother.

First stop of the day was Sears. I don't like Sears for myself but love the baby stuff there. Of course, I only buy things that are on sale or clearance. Call me cheap, but I don't want to spend that much money and Ashton doesn't wear the clothes that long. There Ashton got a $27 outfit for $9. He will wear it to church tomorrow. Dr. Maxedon also bought Ashton some underwear (Cars and Bob the Builder). Next stop, Old Navy. I love Old Navy Clothes. There Ashton got a pair of blue jeans for $7 (priced $17) and sweatpants for $2 (prices $10). So I am doing good. Next stop, Baby Gap. I didn't buy anything there. Dr. Maxedon bought Ashton shoes, 2 shirts, and a hat. Next stop and final stop for me was JC Penny's. Now this is my store. I bought two outfits. I have to buy new clothes because my other ones are too big. Dr. macedon wanted to stop by the bookstore on our way out. I was like great Ashton is going to want something there. She ended up buying him 4 books.

As you can see this day was great fun. No Michael so I could concentrate shopping for only me and Ashton. I would recommend that to anyone, leave th husband and home. I never realized how much influence he had on my clothing choices. I actually got things I wanted without having dirty looks. It was great.

Enough about my shopping day. I will talk to you all later.

My Lil' Pirate

My little boy is back so life is back to normal. I now don't feel so alone in the house. In fact, he has talked nonstop. Woo hoo! My chaotic life is back now.

Finally finished my workshops today. Drew Central is doing Reading First. This is what the workshops were about. It was actually kind of nice to observe a teacher actually teaching to the Reading First Protocols. Most workshops, you just sit and listen all day and do nothing. We actually watched and interacted to the lesson being taught. I thought it was very informative.

Drew Central is great. I feel like I have a place that I belong. It has been a long time since I have felt this way. The teachers are great and very laid back. They are a lot like me. Kind of scary though.

Michael was better today. I think he may be kind of scared. We actually made up last night and went and ate supper. We have this motto, that if we are mad we will still go to sleep in the same bed. You hear of people sleeping on the couch because they are in trouble with the other spouse. It is amazing that if you go to sleep in the same bed that you will wake up the next morning and forget why you were mad. It is a great philosophy or rule to live by.

Well, Ashton is here now so I must play his new game with him.

Men...Why are they here?

Yesterday, my husband and I got into a fight (argument not fists) over how he spends his time. Being a female, yes I want attention and dang it he better give it to me. Yet, I get hurt because he is on that computer 24-7. I wish the computer would accidently break or something. Anyways, that almost happen. His computer is dying. So instead of doing what I asked, he stayed on the phone with Apple for 1 hour and got nothing done, I was so mad. This is our typically day. Michael has ADD and can't keep track of time and what he is suppose to do. Like Monday, I wrote a list for him to get done. Did he? No, he forgot about the stupid list. Same thing happen Tuesday, he didn't get anything done. This was actually the day the computer began to die. Wednesday's episode was the top of the cake. Couldn't take it anymore. We were suppose to move out of our old apartment. Which he was to work on Monday (which was on the list)? Did he? No! So I finally left him there and let him finish everything by himself without my help.

Next, he told me that it was his day off and he shouldn't have to work. Wow, wish I could do that on my days off. Then he tells me that I have summers off and should do the moving out and the cleaning and the cooking. Typical male. I told him I was sorry that this was my day off. It just escalated from there. Anyways enough ramblings about the argument.

Any of you laddies that have been married for a while, are there any answers to get the man to help out around the house? Am I fighting a loosing battle? This doesn't really bother me, cause I am stubborn and will keep fighting this battle till the day I die.

Missing Ashton

What can I say? I am missing Ashton. He is my pride and joy and now he is at Grandma's house for a week. I had workshops and Michael is going to school and working. No one could watch him. I know that he is having a great time, but I still miss him. You know I want to be there when he is having the great time. I did however hear that he has to sleep with my picture. It made me happy and sad at the same time.

Now this whole week I am stuck with Michael. Not that that is a bad thing, but there is only so much grown up humor (or suppose to be grown up humor) you can handle. Take a look at the picture. It is funny when a two year old does, but it can get old with a 25 year old.

But I guess I knew this before I married him. I may have changed my mind. Just kidding. I love Michael a whole lot and wouldn't change my life for anything.

Losing Weight is Crazy

Well, I went to my weight loss group at the church. Supposedly, I gained five pounds. This is so crazy. I think Diane must have been stepping on the scale while I wasn't looking or something. It is kind of discouraging. I guess I should be happy. Weight is just a number. How do I look? I look pretty dang good myself. I have actually gone from a size 12 to a size 9/10 in ten weeks. To me this is an accomplishment. Why am I still discouraged? That number doesn't mean anything.

The only reason I am losing weight is to get back to my old size before pregnancy or closer to it. I figure if I can do that, then I won't have as much two lose with the next pregnancy. Just thinking about a year off. There I go the one that is trying to plan my life out is advance. I really don't know how my husband puts up with me. He doesn't plan anything. If it happens then great, if he doesn't get done the who cares. That drives me nuts. Anyway, I just got on my soap box and was off track.

Well, I hope everyone is doing great with their weight loss. I am so proud of Kevin. He is really into this. He wasn't this motivated when we started. Enough for now.

Thoughts that Ponder on Sundays

There are many thoughts that always ponder after Sunday sermons. Go figure. You know those thoughts that you think that you were being spoken to specifically. Those thoughts that you feel the preacher is looking directly to you and talking to only you. Well, this was one of those days as typical.

Jeff, our preacher, has given us this book to read. I love to read books that allow be to ponder of inventive ways to do something new. I guess I am a nerd because I was about the only one that has starting reading on this book. Anyways, if you have not read this book, you should. This book gives suggestion on ways to reach out to your community that you have never thought of.

This book has brought thought to me for several weeks now on ways a church can reach all kinds of people. So often churches want to spread the word but it is usually in fundraiser ways. You see these group all the times. In fact, we have avoided them while going into grocery stores or Wal-mart. The so called bake sales. So people have even gone as far as not pricing the items and saying we accept donations. How many people are going to take it for free without giving a donation. The signs basically say you are obligated to. Yes, this people are getting the word out but how many low-income people are you reaching if they can't afford to buy anything. If you sit down and think about it--not very many.

This book mentions several ways to share God's word for free. This particular church did not do the bake sales or handing out of tracks that drive people away from the church. This church got out and mowed yards, washed cars, gift wrapped during Christmas, and clean up people's homes and yard. Check this out, they did it for free. They would do everything for free and would not accept donations. Most people think this is crazy. In reality it is not. What a way to reach people! Everyone in the world wants something for free. It is amazing the kinds of people that this book talks about that were bought to Christ. This group even cleaned restrooms at local resturants and shopping centers. Put it this way, they got a lot of attention. People wanted to know what kind of people would go around and clean restrooms. This later lead to publicity on local radio stations. Basically this church spread the word of Christ and reached so many people in extra ordinary ways.

Today, Jeff mention a Bible verse that stuck to me and related to this topic. Well, at least I used it to relate to the book.

Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus. Phillipians 2:5

Did Jesus spread the word of God by taking money from people when he helped them out? He did everything from his heart. Don't get me wrong there is a time to do fundraising. We shouldn't use this as a way to reach people for Christ. Doing the unexpected for someone or a group of people without out expecting a reward or compensation is a very important way to reach people. Stop and help someone for change. Stop sticking to your routine and reach some people. This has been my thought process for the first couple of chapters of this book.

Here are a few ways that individuals can help.

• Help someone cross the street.
• Help someone put heavy items into their vehicle at Wal-Mart.
• Take someone somewhere who is walking in the rain.
• Babysit someones kids for free so the parents can have a moment of free time.
• Pass out lemonade to workers has they get off work at a factory. (A little girl a my old church actually did this)

Anyways you can see there are many ways to spread God's word. As you do any of the above, a simple "God Bless You" as you finished may spark a conversation. Remember we don't have to be the one alone that brings a person to God. We may just be a seed planter and someone else will come along and be the waterer. It may take several people and years, to bring someone to Christ. This is not an immediate process. Just getting people to think about the kindness people have shown them is the first step to bringing someone to God.

Info about Me

OK I got Mandy tagged me so here goes:

Name your favorite...

1. Candy: Buterfinger

2. Cookie: Oreos

3. Donut: glazed

4. Cold Drink: Sweet Tea

5. Hot Drink: Sweet Tea

Tagged: Michael (like he will do it but it is worth the shot)

Movie Night

Today was an OK day. Michael went to work and Ashton and I stayed at home. We were hoping to catch up with Phillip and Rose but were unable to do that. Since we couldn't do that Ashton and I decided to go to a movie. Fearing that Michael would be upset going without him, we waited for him.

We went to go see Cars. I was like OK don't really want to but I promised Ashton. This movie was great. It is amazing how you go into a movie expecting not to enjoy it but come out with lots more. This movie actually had a moral. Can you believe that! A movie that actually taught something. Basically, I walked out the movie learning that I should not live my life in the fast lane. I should slow down and smell the roses. I am missing a lot of things along the way if I don't. I am going to try to take this advice and pertain it to my life. Well, enough for now. I have a paper to write for class.

Pictures of my family

This is me and my family. Ashton is the two year old and Michael is my husband.

Well, I am currently teaching kindergarten at Drew Central in Monticello as of yesterday. Woo Hoo! I graduated with a Bachelor's of Art in Early Childhood/Special Education in December. Right now, I am getting my master's degree with Grand Canyon Univeristy. The courses are all online so I can spend some time with my family. When I finish in January of 2007 I will have a Masters of Education in Reading: Instruction and Curriculum.

Michael is currently working on his bachelors. Hopefully he will be done in August of 2007. He will have a bachelors of science in computer information systems. He loves computers. If anyone needs their computer worked on. He is the man.

Ashton is two. He is our pride and joy. There was debate over what to name him. I wanted to name him after his Daddy, but mother in law did not want a junior. Put it this way, she didn't mind the name. She just didn't want to call him Junior. Why name him after his Dad and not call him Junior. Dang mother in laws. So this left us back to square one. Being a fan of Ashton Kutcher, I loved his name. I was like this was different lets use it. So we did research to find out what middle name would go well with Ashton. What better research than to look up Ashton Kutcher's bio. Come to find out Ashton is his middle name. His first name was Christopher. Neither Michael or I liked Christopher, so we just stuck with Ashton. Then we finally decided on Ashton Michael. I had to have a decision. I did not want to be one of those parents whose names their child several days after they are born.

Anyways enough boring talk. I will get back on and blog later.

Moving Stinks

I have been moving for three weeks now. I hate it and would not recommend it to anyone. We are moving from a one bedroom apartment to a two bedroom apartment. This is really great now that I have a two year old son. He actually has his own room and does not have to share with me and my husband. Woo hoo!

Anyways we have to spend a lot more money for the bigger place but it is worth it. Our marriage has actually gotten better. It is amazing how more space can save a marriage. We actually have room to give each other their space.

What An Eventful Day

Wow, my first blog other than myspace. I don't really know what to right. I kind of want to use this more as a journal, but who knows.

Today was a busy day as usual. I had an interview with Drew Central today at 8am. I got the job. I will be teaching kindergarten there. In fact, I start workshops Monday morning. It is a Reading First Camp. They will last all week. Woo hoo. Ashton (my son) will be staying with Grandmama. I am going to miss him so much.

Michael (my husband) is at work. He is currently at Wal-Mart. He assembles bicycles. He hates it. Atleast it is just for the summer. In the fall, he will work for UAM School of Education. He will be a tech guy there. Basically working on the computers and fixing the problems that people have caused because they have no idea what they have done.

Well, I guess this is all for now.

Picture uploading

I am just uploading a picture so that I can use it for my profile.

Pictures